December 12th - worst day of my life

Yesterday was the pinnacle for me regarding things going wrong. I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE to divulge all the information on this blog (there's 3 years worth), but I was stupid and gave a certain someone my blog address, so that person is most likely reading this. But this person has caused me financial stress for 3 years and now has decided, because this person knows about my cancer, newborn and financial situation - that this would be the best time to bully me and my family financially. Sorry, I would love to give more details, but I can't.

I am to the point where I can safely say, "EVERYTHING SUCKS."

I was crying last night about it - Charles was at the temple and I was home with the boys and from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., Aaron was crying for 85% of the time - and Ammon just looked at me and said, "Ok, mom" (which is his way of saying "it's ok, mom") and then he patted me and said, "feel better."

I love that little guy so much. Ammon is such a source of strength to me. He's so loving and strong-willed.

After that, he ran around, singing Santa Clause is coming to town... but he only says, "Santa coming to TOWN!" It's so refreshing to be around a sinless person, so innocent and alive with wonder.

But I also realized that my work is an escape for me. I relish my job and I absolutely need it emotionally to get through this time. I do human resources, which includes making policies, benefits, payroll, new hire orientation, training, interviewing, terminations, job discriptions, motivating employees, compliance....I could go on and on. HR encompasses so much and I am learning every day. My goal is to get certified as a Professional HR (PHR) in 2008 - which will help me with getting more money in my job. In fact, the most exciting present I could get for Christmas is a bunch of books on HR stuff, like HR law, interview questions, sexual harassment, etc. It's my passion and I'm so fortunate that I love my job. I don't feel like I work a day. It's all just fun and learning every day for me. I'm glad this is my career path.