I'm thinking, I'm thinking....

I've been pondering what is the most useful thing I can do for my children. What is most important? Staying with Charles, despite his warts and all - or just throwing in the towel.

I don't know.

This is what my bishop read to me the other day:

Forgive for Love (by Dr. Fred Luskin)
1. Dance with the one you brought: you chose your partner, faults and all! The man or woman walking beside you is there for one simple reason-out of all the people out there, you chose this person as your partner. The fact that your partner is with you only because you made a decision to invite him or her to join you is the simplest reason to be more forgiving of this person. It is your positive exercise of choice that will be at the heart of a successful long-term relationship.
2. Recognize that everyone is flawed...including you! Honor without resentment the flawed nature of the human being with whom you share your life. By definition, you are with someone who has significant limitations. Unfortunately, you did not get in the line where they were offering saints, angels, personal saviors, or slaves. You got in the line for a regular person, warts and all. Learning to accept your partner's limitations with tenderness is the opening to a true love.
3. Let your partner know how blessed you are. Love is a gift which your partner is giving! The love your partner offers is freely given, and love itself is marvelous. Your lover's freedom to choose allows you to exult and find meaning and beauty in his or her kindness, love, loyalty, and generosity.
4. To know them is to love them. Try to see your lover's flaws and failures with loving eyes. When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way to live with someone for better or for worse until death do us part. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Acknowledge your partner's flaws, but strive to see his or her good intentions. As you become more forgiving, there is simultaneously less to be upset with. When you disagree forgivingly, you disagree as friends, not as enemies.
5. Accept what you can't change and grieve your loss. Wisdom is the ability to discern the difference between what you can and cannot change. We generally cannot change the actions and thoughts of other people or what happened in our own past. What we can change is ourselves. Forgiveness is one way to change ourselves and in that way change our relationships with our lovers. As we change, we go from anger and self-pity to understanding and goodwill. Becoming a more forgiving person helps us to change our focus from our wounds to the present and future possibilities for happiness in our marriage.
6. Choose to recommit. A marriage is a choice to recommit to your partner every day. A good relationship is worth the effort of letting go of an annoying trait in your partner and being as kind as possible to this person you are connected to. Every spouse, whether recovering from a brutal betrayal or simply dealing with a sloppy partner, decides every day whether to get up and dance with that partner again. Forgiveness is based upon a continual recommitment to your relationship, and it allows you to move forward in your relationship with happiness and a positive attitude.
7. Please give yourself a break. You are just as flawed, misguided, and hurtful as your lover, and you both need a good dose of TLC. Modern life is hectic, and both you and your partner are likely to be busy, self-absorbed, and idiosyncratic individuals. Just like your loved one, you can fail at aspects of your relationship and do things without thinking or examining the consequences. This difficult truth does not disqualify either of you from being loved or from doing your best. It just means that a lot of forgiveness is needed on both sides and toward each other.

And finally, Henry B. Eyring's talk yesterday had some poignant points to think about:
1. Our lives will change for the better as we exercise faith and repentance.
2. Those who never give up will find that God never gave up.