Stretched to our limits

Honestly, sometimes I feel the Lord is stretching me past my limit. I was able to handle everything until Jana reared her ugly head and I'm a mess. The fear of losing everything financially because of her greed consumes my every waking moment. Sometimes I can't forgive Charles for bringing this into my life. I feel like a victim and I'm doing everything possible to keep sane.

I panic frequently.

I break down frequently.

But I love Charles and am trying my best to support him through this trial. But sometimes I fail at supporting him and I attack him. Sometimes I wonder if I learned anything from having cancer. I'm very ungrateful and bitter at times. I know what I should do, but sometimes I just don't do it.

My mom sent me some thoughts that are very applicable to my situation. Here they are:

“I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase ‘the tender mercies of the Lord.’ Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits ‘his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men.’ (D&C 46:15).”

(David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Ensign May 2005)


Jesus’ brief stumbling while carrying the cross is a reminder as to how close to the very edge of our strength God stretches us at times.

-- Neal A. Maxwell – Things as They Really Are, Salt Lake city: Deseret Book Co., 1978, xii.


“Just as the capacity to defer gratification is a sign of real maturity; likewise the willingness to wait for deferred explanation is a sign of real faith and of trust spread over time.”

-- Neal A. Maxwell – Willing to Submit, Ensign, May 1985, 71.


“Your life is carefully watched over, as was mine. The Lord knows both what He will need you to do and what you will need to know. He is kind and He is all-knowing. So you can with confidence expect that He has prepared opportunities for you to learn in preparation for the service you will give. You will not recognize those opportunities perfectly, as I did not. But, when you put the spiritual things first in your life, you will be blessed to feel directed toward certain learning, and you will be motivated to work harder. You will recognize later that your power to serve was increased, and you will be grateful.”

-- Henry B. Eyring, “Education for Real Life,” Ensign, Oct 2002, 18-19.